Sour Lemon Pie

We used to joke as kids that if Martha Stewart wanted to make steaks for dinner, first she had to fatten a calf and slaughter it.

So today, kiddies, we're going to make a lemon pie, Martha-style.

First go out to your lemon orchard and pick a few sour lemons.

 (This is our back yard. No lie. Did I mention we live in Paradise?)

Now go out back to the chicken coop and gather some eggs.

Ok so clearly this guy didn't give us eggs... actually I'm afraid of these dudes so I just bought my eggs at the regular old grocery store. Although he does live in our back yard, too.

All joking aside, it's time to get a'cooking.

First we need to make a graham cracker crust. Now, that's one of those American things that we can't buy in this country. Don't get me started. Just make it, Martha!

I used petit beurre cookies since graham crackers are also nowhere to be found. Except Beit Shemesh. Damn you, Beit Shemesh.

Next is the filling. I am sort of obsessed with lemon curd. It's easy to make nondairy, is beautifully tart, very lemony and if you have leftovers you can pretend to be English and spread some on some scones for tea.

You're supposed to make this in a double boiler which, alas, I am too cheap to buy. 

So stingy me just puts a metal bowl on top of a pot with some simmering water in it, and calls it a day. Just don't touch the top bowl without oven mitts. Ouch!

And with your reserved egg whites, you whip up some meringue with your now fully functional Kitchen Aid, slap it on the pie, singe the tops of your porcupine lemon tart, and voila!

Lemon Meringue Pie

or, perhaps

Sour Lemon Pie

also known as a

Tart Lemon Tart

Now we're just being silly. Whatever you call it, it's delicious!

Sour Lemon Pie

Crust:

1 - 1.5 cup crushed cookies

1/2 cup butter or margarine

1/3 cup powdered sugar

dash of cinnamon

Whiz together in a food processor. Press into a pie pan. Bake 10 minutes at 375F

Lemon Curd:

5 egg yolks

1 cup sugar

1 cup lemon juice from freshly picked, although under-ripe lemons

zest of 3 medium sized lemons

1/2 cup butter or margarine

mix egg yolks, sugar, juice and zest in metal bowl. Place over pot of simmering water. Whisk constantly, until the mixture thickens enough to coat the back of a spoon. Remove from the heat. Add the butter in small chunks, stir until melted.

Meringue:

5 egg whites

2 cups sugar

Place in double boiler apparatus. Whisk constantly while heating over simmering water until the mixture reaches 140F (or if you don't have a candy thermometer, until the sugar is dissolved and doesn't feel gritty if you touch the mixture between your fingers). Remove to your lovely lovely kitchenaid and whip until stiff white peaks form. Dollop on top of pie. 

Bake the meringue-coated pie 10 minutes at 375F until the meringue peaks start to turn brown.